x

does it matter if i seem sad the day he left me?
does it matter if i looked emo all day?
does it matter if i cried all day long?
does it matter if what i post on my blog seems emo?

as long as i know it's me, i guess it's ok.
but it still matters to me that while i'm crying on one side, he just goes on living his life like it never happened before. ): i suppose i will just have to get used to it.

oh! before i forget, the service-cum-concert was awesome! :D couldnt have asked for a better way to just let of and worship God. (:
things did feel better at first. but once i got home everything else sucked bad. ): ): ):
to put to the account i had to cry miserably for the next 10 or so minutes.

i really need to get moving and do some silly stuff with my friends and forget everything else. especially him. maybe i'm being stupid and silly. but hellooooo, i'm a girl and when i put in my all, it kinda sucks that i have to live with it when nothing goes right.

not that it helps i have to focus on another broken relationship myself. not that i'm complaining or anything cos i really aint. but the fact is that i have to handle 2 broken hearts (mine and another one) seriously too heavy for me. and look at this.. 1 30 in the morning and i am still not sleeping. have to catch csi: new york later. i wonder how it feels like to hug someone when you've just got out a huge problem or catastrophe. i suppose it would feel super heart warming and stuff like this. haha.. i dont know. i never really hugged someone after i encounter a huge problem. maybe i should. hug someone i love and treasure. hug someone who was there all along. hug someone who knew everything. hug someone who understands.

i need hugs.
argh.

especially now. )':
i miss his hugs so badly.
how can this happen???????
he's such a jerk.

):
but i'll stand strong.
i promise.

cheerios,
EVE (: