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chapter 1
2005. mid-august.
new hampshire
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the blankets fumbled their way of the brown bed.
"hey! ITS COLD! dont do that.." michelle sputtered. in the midst of their sleep, gerry had kicked the blacket of the bed. she reached for it in the dark room. unsure of where to grab hold to the missing blanket. warming her up just a few minutes ago.
"baby... you have me.. you know."
michelle felt gerry's arm wrapped against her waist. cuddling her up, as she softened up.
"i still want my blankie." she said. firmly.
gerry started embracing her in a manner so smooth, she couldnt possibly resist. his hands fiddled her waist. moving around in the graceful motion that michelle had always been so familiar to.
she sighed.
gerry nibbled her ear, and they both fumbled of the bed onto the blanket which broke the fall for them. but neither of them bothered. it didnt hurt at all. none whatsoever, the pain wasnt present. just the love. surrounding them like the blanket. as gerry carcessed michelle's hair, their lips interlocked so deep, that nothing could come in between them.

almost nothing.

michelle woke up suddenly. knocking over the glass of water she left on the table. the dorrbell was ringing.
"shit."
she rushed herself up of the sofa. she had dreamed of gerry again.. they havent been getting close since gerry was diagnosed with cancer. luekaemia. 3 months ago. the last time she frenched him was almost a month ago. whenthe doctor declared his immune system was so broken down that even a simple flu might kill him. she cant bear to bring any bacteria to him with her saliva. she sighed at the thought.
she smoothed her overalls. it was what she had been wearing the past 42 hours since gerry was in the ER coping badly. he's fine.. and she decided to come back home to steal a quick nap. she gotten tired of those antiseptic smells which made her yearn so damn much for a single rose scent.
the doorbell continued ringing.
"coming!" she rushed.
she opened the door. she thought she saw herself. it wasnt.
but the similarities were alarming. the young woman spoke.
"i need to see gerry."
"who are you?.. i'm sorry. gerry's not here.. he.. he's stricken with illness. im afraid he's at the hospital." michelle replied. shocked by the resemblance between her and the young woman at the door. their hair. their eyes.. their features. both of which had them so deep engraved to their faces. but the woman had a darker shade of eye. and she was much taller than the 5 feet tall michelle. the woman was near 4 inches above her.
"oh.. no.." the woman panicked.
"is there anything i could help you with..? you .. who are you to gerry?... .." michelle asked kindly.
"i'm mandy. i'm.. i'm his fiancee. i'm pregnant with his child."

+ + + + +

"jason.. jason.. i need you. please. please come over..." michelle sobbed over her cellphone.
"mich? mich..? mich baby, what's wrong..? is gerry..? do you need me at the hospital?" jason asked. frantic that michelle would call him halfway through the day. which was impossible since she was supposed to be in the hospital. with gerry.. and at the zone which gerry was in, cellphones arent even allowed to be on.
"no. oh jason. something horrible. oh. i dont know. gerry's too sick to have to face this. and i'm too weak to do it alone. shit. jason. i need you. i need you..." michelle sobs were turning to helpless cries. it was enough to make jason go weak in the knees for her. he would do anything for her.
"im coming mich. stay calm. where are you? home..?" jason tried his best to hold onto michelle. trying not to lose her amidst her cries.
"yes...... please.. hurry..." michelle pleaded. and she cut the line off.
jason tried his best to hurry. he managed to get to his car before he toppled the boxes and started cursing. "shit man. bloody shit." since when?.. he asked himself. has he gotten so deep in love with the woman he just spoke to minutes ago? since when was he willing to sacrifice anything for her? since when.....? jason cut himself off. he opened the door to his merc and drove speeding off to michelle. ignoring the red lights and dozen of curses as he flew past those trucks.

he reached the doorstep of the red bricks. he paced himself steadily. afraid of what he was going to face. the panic in michelle's voice. it scared him. but as he walked down the red pathway, it calmed him down. this house was designed specially to michelle by gerry. the architect that most celebrities would kill to have. "it's my dream house you know, jay.. ? with the red bricks and tulip all over. i could die here in the bunch of flowers... without any ever regrets.. haha." michelle said.. as she fluttered off. fiddling with the red and yellow tulips grown strewing around the entire house."i love him.. i love him so much!" she giggled. as she rolled over the grass. michelle was probably the happiest woman alive. being with gerry.. he thought. as he plucked up the courage. to face something he didnt knew that could ever happen. making michelle's last smile his forever memory. sketched deeply in his heart.

he rang the doorbell. and when it the door opened, what greeted him was something he never thought he would see from michelle. it wasnt michelle. even though gerry had been diagnosed, michelle would never ever come to say, to the point she would cry in front of jason. for they had once promised each other, that they would never ever cry again. for they would be strong. it had always been like this. until now, what jason saw was a weak, tattered michelle. a face full tears and sorrow that his heart couldnt withstand the blow. he went forward. and gave michelle a hug. a deep deep hug. one he didnt do it a few years. ever since gerry got accquanited with michelle. somehow, this always seems to be the story. the best friend always got the girl. always. michelle's face laid buried in his chest. his armani shirt started dampening with her tears. he hugged her tighter.
"whats' wrong mich? what happened?" he asked gently. helding on to her so tightly that he wished that for once, he wished time would stop.
suddenly, a face greeted him. the bewilderment on his face seemed to be felt by michelle. this.. this woman! she's .. is she michelle? oh my god. shit.
michelle lifted her head from jason's chest.
"jay. jay.. this.. this is the problem." she cried more. grabbing so tightly onto his blue shirt. it started crumpling.
jason gasped. "holy shite."
"jason. jason look at me. look at her. .. "
"i know.. i know mich." jason held michelle tighter to himself. if this woman was hurting her, she'd have to go through him first.
"no you dont. jason you dont understand." michelle cried through his chest.
he furrowed his brows. looking at the woman taller than michelle. but standing at 6feet2, even he was taller than gerry. she looked alot like michelle. but her eyes were different. it's gaze were weak and broken. unlike michelle's, soft and spoken (rhyme unintended). the colour wasnt that much similar too.
"jason... jason listen.." the crying michelle placed her fingers to his face, locking her gaze with his.
"she's pregnant. she's pregnant 4 months with gerry's child. jason, she's his fiancee. his fucking fiancee who's fucking pregnant. shit jason. shit."
michelle placed her hand over her face. trying to stop herself from losing it. its tough. more tears came streaming down. jason didnt let go of her. he continued holding her. hugging her.
"its ok mich. everything's ok. i'm here. i'm here for you. and no one else. its' ok."
the word "mich" sounded so assuring. jason was the only one, who ever calls her that. 'mich'.. gosh, it just sounded so right coming from his mouth.

for the second time in her life, michelle found herself so safe in this arms, that did not belong to gerry.