red ; and me putting all the pieces back together.

i remembered the first time i saw you.
remembered the time when you were dancing and staring at me.
remembered the time when you laughed and said you didnt know what to do with me.
remembered when we just knew each other and how each and every quarrel was inevitable.
remembered how you told me the way i sat on a bus meant i was scared of you.
remembered when we had a big fight and you asked me if i was still angry at you.
remembered everyone wanted to smash cake into my face and the first name i called for was for you.
i remembered it was you, who figured out i ran when i was so stressed or angry.
remembered passing you the friendship coupons and you nv passing them back to me when you used it.
remembered when you told me how i would always continue walking even when you stopped.
remembered when you grabbed my hand. how you held it.
how you hold me and kiss my hair.

i remember alot of things.

i remember how you made up the list for me.
remembered how you remembered what i like.
remembered how you know what i like.
remembered how you'd try to find things that i like.
i remembered you finding my favourite cds.

i remembered alot of things.
and suddenly it all hits me like how everything would revolve around me.

did i really left you alone on the other side?

i dont know.
i think i loved you.
i think i really did.

but then again.

maybe, maybe, what happened was just a dream.
nothing happened.
just me thinking.
one sided.
me.
me.
always me.
and we were shadows to each other walking past. pretending to be oblivious to our own existence to one another.