tiring

i wonder if it's just me or if the world seems alot bleaker nowadays.

nothing to look forward. i just keep wondering what's gna be in store for me in the future. i dont really see anything. what if i end up being an OL? what if i end up earning only 800bucks a month and i grow crappy and dead and boring and fat?????

i dont want!!

i have this inferior complex thing building up inside me slowly.
actually i realise being around with friends who are gorgeous and thin, toned and doesnt get fat no matter how much they eat means that i'll probably start growing inferior towards myself.

i'm like fugly, fat and have extremely short legs. doesnt help that mabel emphasises i am 90 10. fucking doesnt help. and makes me go VERY VERY depressed. i don know. people say things that arent really true. like "you're not fat!" when i am very fat. or fact that "omg i am so fat!" when they're approx 41kg and can be called fucking underweight.
what am i supposed to say?
i'm like gaining weight faster than i can say "nincompoop" and it sucks. i am like, as fat as my sister now. this sucks.
sucks big time. i hate my life.

i failed geog.
i don wna repeat wadever happened to me last year. i think i will just cry my eyeballs out...

ever wonder why i keep feeling i'm alone.
because there's not really anyone standing by.

hate my life when things are screwing up and when i find myself falling out of league.
fuck.