happy birthday

im not sure if i have felt so sad
like my heart is breaking into more pieces and then more

you are drunk and i don't think you'll remember it in the morning.
but you said it.
you said we won't work.
you know it won't work.

my mind is racing and i know that this has always been the most likely scenario but you've never brought it up before.
you've always been the strong one, like when i break down and you would talk to me and make it seems like everything is okay.
but today i felt like i just knew who you are.

you are just this little boy, all this worries and insecurities that you won't tell me.
you hide them and keep them bottled up because you think that doing this makes you strong. doing all these and hiding your problems make them less obvious or that it's possible to make them go away.

they wont go away. these problems are actual worries. they are the very thing i cry about. don't hide these from me...
when you are scared, tell me.
when you are worried, tell me.
when you are sad, i need you to tell me.

tell me everything.

not just tell me that you are strong enough to carry both our weight
not just tell me that you will fight for us.
all these are just sugar coating our relationship.
and of all things, our relationship shouldn't be sugar coated because it is full of turmoils and difficulties and we just need to face it right smack in the face.

even if we split up it is okay.
we tried.
and we love each other.

you are so young,
just 21.
there's so many opportunities out there for you.
things you can do, countries you can visit. hot girls for you to meet.

i am just part and parcel of life.
i'm your part and parcel of life.
it is your present tense now.
but it doesnt mean it won't be your past.

but its okay.
we talked about this before remember?
even if we dont end up together in a year.
its okay.

right now.
i love you.
i love you so much.