desperation

i mope in bed, listening to all the ost of my favourite korean dramas.

all those heartbreaking moments, the pain and sadness i felt when i watched the show.
all came back.
music is such a powerful thing.

the past weekend was tough.
my back hurt and all i could think of was someone i shouldnt be thinking about.

my heart hurts and i feel so lonely.
(its not the friends lonely. just, in a i-need-someone-to-hold-me lonely)

i hid in my bed, felt bad for myself.
but being alone helps. i can mope all i want.

i just wished i could stop focusing on love and being taken care of all the time.
i mean. i can take care of myself, i don't need anyone to do that for me.

just. it feels good to be taken care of..