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I think about my consciousness. And I think about everything I can't be. I think about all the poverty in the world. And the world that is going to be. I wonder what kind of place it is going to be and I wonder what kind of person I am going to be.

I think about all that I am and all that I am not. Do I deserve it. Am I not trying hard enough?

And I don't know what I want. After fighting against something for so long, all you are left with is a jaded character and a tired heart.

I think about dying. But I am scared. Because then I would really become nothing. I am thankful for my consciousness. And my Iife. And all that I have. But my consciousness is also putting me in so much sadness and grief.

I wanted to look at the universe and ask what it is they wanted me to be.
But then I got no answer. And time is running out and I am desperate.
And. And. And....

I see the worse of people. I think about stupid Americans. All I want to do is live. But so much other things are distracting me and I feel so helpless.

200 years from now. No one will remember me.