it's like...

are people supposed to feel this helpless?

going to school makes me depressed.

not because i am not doing well.

but maybe because knowledge makes me depressed.

everyone thinks like, oh, intelletual. oh so cool.

"oh, you read milan kundera. so cool"

"oh you read him?, so over rated."

"why do you read all these books? so free?"

i mean.
seriously.
looks wasted. like mentally..

why should people care what i do or what i read. why do they put a label on whatever people do? just because someone listen to techno music, or someone has tattoos or piercings you think like, "oh, so tacky." "loser." "weirdo"

so? doesnt mean that listening to indie bands or your emo punk is cool.

mainstream is not equal to uncool either.

or being intellectual.
education dont make you cool.
your behaviour , being so judgemental makes you lower than those you think are tacky.

at least those people are not pretentious.

stop thinking that you are cooler than anyone else.

it is so stupid.

i think about 15 and it makes me depressed.
i think about eating air and it makes me depressed too.
knowledge makes me depressed.
as you start seeing the world and understanding it in a particular way... it is some how very sad.

i know thery are better things in life.

just that right now i havent been studying them yet.

i think people always like to think emo and then portray themselves to be so cool because they think that it is cool to be the underbelly or the "others".

i would rather be happy.

so stupid.

but still,
i cant wait for more screenings in my lectures.