times.

i wished life would have been more filling.

i miss jie like shit.
and really, life's nothing without her.
she changed my life.
now im almost nothing without her.

feel like dying.

i wish i was with her. i wish she was with me.

oh man.


-----------------------------------------------------------

you know how life always seem so weird without someone?
my life seems weird without jie, kc, shenky and xuan.

and now on my very ongoing life i feel empty.
empty like a shell.
empty because i have become what i was afraid of.
empty because now i am full of superficial contemplation.

lackadaisically.

life, cannot be questioned.
but life is full of them.

i wish i had someone by my side now.
wished that i was with jie.
wished i am who i am last time with her.
not like this. now.

i miss ryan, yings, aaron, derrick, and everyone else.

my heart hurts.

lonely, cold, desolate, what more could i say when nothing i say can exactly mean what i feel? that how synonyms never seem to be 100%. thats how it feels when i say no words can describe what i feel.

that day is coming.
i'm afraid it's gna be the most lonely one ever.

i dont want one based on shallow fronts and fake laughter.


can you hold my hand and tell me all is fine?
let me cry on your shoulder and wrap me up.
tell me its ok its ok its all gna be ok.
i need reassurance.
lonely.
so long ago.
i didnt feel this way till now.

i want to bury myself in your chest.
cry out real loud.

and have you there.
but you're never there.

i mean nothing.
nothing at all.

just like me to everyone else.