degradation.

have you ever felt so empty in your life.
felt nothing but envy towards everything that surrounded you.

"you are useless"

nothing can make a day feels right.
why am i still stuck here.
i need to slap my ass and keep it moving.
have you ever wondered why life cease to colour up?

maybe its because you stop loving.
but what if it's because everyone stopped loving you?

i always have to compare.
always under that shadow and i am drowned by her complexity.
she is beautiful, talented, independent, open, daring and does what nobody does.

i am not one tenth of her.
i am nothing.

why did the both of us have to exist at the same time?
why cant i choose to be free and live my own life?

i am always beneath her.

i am the beneath beneather.

i am a piece of flesh
blood. breathing. but dead.

i am not colourful.
i am not beautiful.
i am just nothing compared to her.

do you ever felt a sense of inferiority towards yourself?
they say we look alike but i am nothing like her.

this is me.
i am a slut
i am a pig
i am a thief
i am a loser
i am her follower

i listen to her
i crave her words
i require her attention

and

i am so proud of her.






but i feel so minor to her
my mom must love her so much

they say all are equal.
i never believed it.
and when the day dies and i wake up

i sit next to the empty bed and wonder if i can ever be like her.

but i cannot.
because i am nothing like her

nothing
nothing
a word repeated.
because nothing else can mean like nothing.

empty
hollow
non existent

and all nothing.

i dont hate my life
i just dont like where my stopping point is now.
i wish i could have more time for myself.

there i go again.
me
me
me
me
me

always fucking me.
i am selfish
a fucking selfish bitch.

what the hell am i living for.












nothing.