well.

hmm.

talked to teekai ytd about garrick.
much was mostly about me and my feelings and tee kai giving his perspective of how things could have been.

actually i always wondered too.
but i just felt so at ease talking to teekai. maybe its just cos he knows garrick well.
or something.

or maybe its just issues that have been bugging me and i have finally blurted it all out.
i feel so much better.
maybe its all the while i just felt that we werent meant for each other even if we did have feelings for each other.

closure.

thats what i needed all the while and think i got it all yesterday.
im so so so relieved now.

because now i know i dont really need him anymore.
just as well as he doesnt need me or had never needed me.

cold turkey for a month.
maybe.
i'll probably laugh about it in years to come.